Month: February 2016

Worlds

We all come from different worlds

and still we share but one

and it rarely occurs to any

that we also share the sun.

The more differences that exist

stir the earth to grow

in new and exciting ways

we can break the ground below.

So that sun that we share

can illuminate a brand new scene

and open us up to worlds

within our own, we’ve never seen.

© Autumn Siders 2016

Dream On

There are rumors out there that say one cannot read in a dream. Others say, one cannot die in a dream. Some say if one is falling, one will wake before hitting the floor. One cannot turn on lights. One cannot watch a movie. I am here to debunk these noxious rumors with my own dreams. I swear these are all dreams that I have had over the course of my life.

-I am part of an elite team sent in to figure out what went wrong in a secret base. We enter the main level and the place is empty. We take the elevator up to the second level. All that’s in front of us when we exit the elevator is another elevator. My teammate pushes the call button and we wait with our guns aimed for the elevator to arrive. As soon as the doors open, we are ambushed by a hoard of the undead. We fire as quickly and accurately as we can, but there are too many and the space is too small. My teammates are desperately trying to call the other elevator. They are cornered. I jump from the second floor and land so hard I can feel the pain in my leg. As I struggle to my feet I realize that this floor is now flooded with zombies. I take out the ones closest to me and then I run out of ammo. I fight as many off as I can, but I am very quickly torn to pieces and even after the life has left my body, the dream still continues as I watch from above.

– I am falling. From up high. I hit the ground. It hurts.

-I am in my apartment (I don’t have an apartment) and my friend has just told me that she has a binder full of writing. I am intrigued and would like to know what it is she has written. (Does she get credit for writing them or do I?) I open the binder and start to read some of the poems.

I once dreamed I was a leper

only to find out it was nothing more

than a side effect of Dr. Pepper.

My friend knows the best place in town

to keep a tiger in a cage.

After all, who better than a clown

to deal with all that rage?

Proven not once but twice

that thorns are in my side

I shall prove yet again

that no thorn is left behind.

– I am in the dark. I turn on the light.

– I am with a beautiful girl. We are on a date. We stroll down the city streets on our way to the movie theater. We buy our tickets and find our seats. We watch and chat as the previews start to roll. There is preview for Rocky XX and another for the newest Star Wars franchise that follows the effects of galactic climate change. The lights grow dim and her hand reaches for mine. The movie starts and she leans in on my shoulder. She kisses me. I kiss her back. Things get hot and heavy. Okay, maybe you can’t watch a movie in your dream. At least not if they’re like that.

Starstruck

I don’t care how much you make

and I don’t care the level of fame.

I don’t care if you’re on the big screen

nor if you make millions playing a game.

So you wear a suit that’s a billion bucks

and everyone knows your name,

but those who are truly stars

are those who know nothing of fame.

© Autumn Siders 2016

#tbt

They can only hold for so long

as the pressure mounts its war

and each and every time it seems

I am on the other side of the door.

The water trickles through

slowly at first; it is the calm before

whatever breaks through these gates

as only nature knows what’s in store.

The question then is quite simple,

do I run or do I stay and let

the water crash down and bury me?

But the answer is never that simple

and if I run I won’t drown yet,

but the inevitable can only be delayed.

© Autumn Siders 2015

Yes, I’m a Creep

I am always dissing online dating and harshly judging others who use this as a means to find “true” love. In an attempt to better myself and stop feeling these negative feelings, I delved into the world of online dating. I didn’t do this to find a date, but rather to find out what the big deal is exactly. I created several online profiles and while I didn’t divulge any personal information, I also didn’t lie about anything either. I draw the line at being a total creep, after all. Since I didn’t lie, I only experienced the sites as a woman seeking a woman, so I can’t vouch for how all of this works for those crazy heterosexuals and gay men. Here is what I learned in the process:

-Selfies are quite possibly the most unattractive way to put yourself out there. A lot of actually pretty ladies can turn into ducks like from that Twilight Zone episode.

-Putting up pictures of you with your more attractive friends, doesn’t help your case (also if I were your friend and found out that you put my picture up, I am pretty sure I would kill you.)

-A lot of people really do not know how to describe themselves…if you don’t know who you are, maybe this is why you don’t have a date.

-Contacting people and telling them you are doing research and you would like to talk tends to scare the ladies away.

-The ladies that do respond and have full blown conversations with you might have a screw or two loose. (Maybe I do too.)

-Many men think that they are exactly what a woman seeking a woman is looking for. They don’t even try to hide it.

-There are more people out there looking for threesomes than one could imagine.

-There must be some people who use these sites who are really dumb since one of the questions to match me to my mate was, “Which is bigger, the sun or the earth?” It then asks how important is your match’s answer?

-People are scared of being alone.

-A lot of people are looking for their sole mates. It must be time to settle down from those polygamous lifestyles and find the one.

-There are way too many creeps in comparison to people trying to find love. I am exhibit A.

-Online dating is definitely not for me.

My conclusions may have been drawn from my already negative feelings, but here are my final thoughts on the matter. I could never find someone that I would want to spend the rest of my life with on a computer, but that doesn’t mean that someone else can’t. What it lacks for me, is an opportunity to see a person through my eyes, since you only see what they want you to see. Not all sites are created equal though, and if you find the right one, maybe you can take a chance and meet your soul/sole mate. One thing for sure though, it won’t be me.

*Thanks to all the anonymous ladies who did talk to me and did not call the police or report me. Sorry if I broke your hearts, but I don’t think I led anyone on too much.

Checking in on Those New Year’s Resolutions

I posted a nice list of things that I wished to accomplish for the new year and since most people give up on their resolutions after a week I thought I should assess my progress. After a month, here is where I stand.

-Get a haircut (Accomplished, but now I need one again)

-Read the dictionary (I did look up “williwaw” which can be quite helpful when watching the weather channel on mountainous coasts.)

-Adopt 5 more cats and one dog…pending Emilita’s approval (still pending approval)

-Lose 5 pounds of fat and gain 10 pounds of muscle (I gained at least 2 pounds of muscle)

-Stop coughing (mostly accomplished)

-Move to someplace exotic like the Dead Sea (working on it)

-Perform an exorcism (haven’t found a demon yet)

-Earn enough money to donate to an animal shelter and pay the rent for the month (1 out of 2 wouldn’t be bad either) (I donated $3, does that count?)

-Travel to Australia to find myself a nice shelia (Let’s not talk about it)

-Find some type of food that doesn’t make me gag (does water count as a food?)

-Make my cat love me and not the treat bag (Judging by all the cuts on my hands and arms I am thinking I should give this one up for now)

-Make my clothing out of cat hair so I never have to worry about getting the cat hair off before I go places (I think with a few more washes, some of my clothes will actually be held together with cat hair, so that is pretty close)

-Buy my mom a secluded house on a remote island far from cigarettes, bratty kids, and noisy neighbors (donated the funds I had saved to the animal shelter)

-Find a way to break it to my mom that Emilita will not be joining her on said island (not applicable, see above)

-Finally, help achieve world peace (I do what I can)