Month: April 2016

Kitty Klassifieds

Human for Sale

Pure-bred human, potty-trained. This 26-year-old female will bring joy to your life. Knows the commands, feed me, out, clean that up, and pick that up.

Help Wanted

Seeking a responsible individual to clean up litter box twice daily. Tasks include scooping poop, pee, and occasional removal of errant waste. Must have the ability to bend over and lift 3 oz.

For Sale

Never been used cat bed. Was purchased for me by silly humans who thought I would like it better than the box in which it was delivered. Would be a nice addition to any house with a dog.

Personals

Single black and white long-haired beauty seeks no one. Leave me alone.

Roommate Wanted

Immediate vacancy for a rodent to fill the space in the wall. Previous tenant disappeared without a trace.

Missed Connections

The light from your phone

paints a blue glow across your face

as I struggle to connect

in this time and place.

–

I recount the day’s events

and how I really feel

waiting not for just a response,

but a response that is real.

–

The glow dims and your fingers stop

and I stare into your blank face,

“huh?” is all you can manage

as my words vanish without a trace.

© Autumn Siders 2016

So Sad

Recently, my mom and I both happened to watch Jurassic World. We didn’t watch it together, but I warned her if she watched it that she might cry since she would probably feel as sad about the raptors as I did. She did in fact agree that the treatment of the dinosaurs was very depressing. When I conveyed this to a friend, she called me weird. So here is a list of other famous moments I find sad. You be the judge if my feelings are warranted.

-When House stops taking vicodin, dates Cuddy, and becomes “nicer.” Truly the death of a great man here.

-The end of Where the Red Fern Grows. I can’t even write about it in detail, so if you don’t know it, look it up…if you dare.

-When the crush of the serial killer in Normal dies. Even serial killers deserve happiness.

-When the cat, Sassy, falls in the river in Homeward Bound/Incredible Journey. As a child, and even today, it was/is hard to watch/read that scene.

-In addition to the situation of the raptors in the new Jurassic movie, I thought it was just awful in the original when those two bratty kids made them run into freezers and doors. Poor girls were just hungry and who are those kids to deny them a meal.

 

dRats

You were but inches away

and somehow still ran

this is not my fault,

you know I had a plan.

You would have been mine.

It was only a matter of time,

but you must be in cahoots

with those people, what a crime!

Just as I was about to pounce

and catch myself a mouse

there came the sound of a bag

that filled the whole house

and so I left you behind

just inches from my feet.

Why eat a mouse,

when you can eat a treat?

© Autumn and emilita Siders 2016

Countdown

The clock started ticking

as the countdown had begun

and I sat staring blankly

at what little work was done.

The solitude a writer needs

is often hard to find

and even harder still

when nursing a broken mind.

© Autumn Siders 2016

A story is on its way, I promise…