A lazy afternoon
with not a thing to do
and somehow I choose
to spend it with you.
At first it seems great
but I know how it ends
every time I get burned
yet you say we are friends.
Someday I might break
this dreadful bad habit
but until that day comes,
my heart, you’ll inhabit.
The words flow freely
whenever you are around
but without you here
I could live without a sound.
Whenever I am around you
I love the sound of my voice
and the words escape my heart
as if they’ve got no choice.
So why can’t I control this
since secrets are my friends?
How can I trust this feeling
when on you, my happiness depends?
A black cat’s cold stare
and a crisp and perfect air;
autumn leaves trees bare.
Rain hammers away the sorrow
but will not rinses my soul clean
of the damage that’s been done
by all the words I didn’t mean.
The water rises over the walls
that I build to keep you out
and now they crumble and leak
and no one can hear me shout.
This flood that I created
is the product of your tears
which flow freely now
but have been held back for years.
All this time I thought I was stuck
in this little town
with these little people
collecting centuries of muck.
But as my ever deepening solitude grows,
I realize this little town
is not the prison
and everything I knew I do not know.
And all this time, I have been stuck
not in a little town,
but in the illusion of me
pretending to give a fuck.
Cat naps in the sun
as rays of warmth sail away;
a catastrophe.
I put the sugar in the jug
and wonder if it cares
that the label I have chosen
is so far from the truth.
But that matters not really
since sugar cannot care
that it now resides
in an empty water jug,
but people care
and people have feelings
so obviously people
are different from sugar.
Society does not take note
that there are differences indeed
since they still place labels
that are sure to mislead.
There are so many labels
a person is made to bear,
but on the inside is sweetness
if we’d only look and not stare.
The odds have always been against us
and we take the chances anyway
because a life without those chances
makes death not that far away.
I never knew that was how you felt
and I don’t understand how
since our opportunities were equal
yet we are not the same now.
Whatever you thought was happening
is not at all how it went down
an the victim that you always play
is that little boy who makes you drown.
If only I could see the world
in the tattered way you do
then I might understand the way you are
and why you do the things you do.
Autumn Siders 