Blog

The Important Things

The return of my decaying friends has got me thinking of another reason why the zombie apocalypse is really a chance to start anew. Sure you lose a lot when the shit hits the fan. In the grand scheme of things you might be down a family, but give it some time and you can replace your loved ones with all the material things you could ever want. Money no longer matters and everything will be free for the taking. I have compiled a list now, just another way to prep for the inevitable, of all the things I would want when the end of the world comes. After all, it is beneficial to go shopping with a list.

-I may have mentioned this beauty before. Dean Winchester’s 1911 .45 Colt with custom engraving. I want it to actually work so, gun manufacturers, please get started on making this if it doesn’t already exist.

-’65 Triumph Scrambler. What better way to escape the undead than on a motorcycle?

-Michonne’s katana. I will settle for another if she is unwilling to part with it.

-A nice leather cowboy hat. It shades you from the sun, smells good, and makes you look badass.

-A lifetime’s (this could be a short time considering) supply of montelukast sodium. I know eventually it would lose its potency, but as the world dies, my allergies to it would most likely fade away as well.

-A black and red Gibson Les Paul Classic. Not that I would be able to play it with the threat of drawing zombies near, but it would still be nice to hang on the wall.

-Finally, this new idea for my collection, Lila Bard’s knife with the brass knuckle handle. In the words of my new favorite female character in literature, one can never have enough knives. And if you haven’t read this book, you need to. A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab.

A Feline’s Intuition

I see you out there,

no matter what those people say

I can see you and smell you

there is no getting away.

You may think you are clever

and that into the dark you blend

but never forget that a feline

has a nose on which to depend.

So slink away into the night

or stop a while and stare,

but I will always find you

even when my people are not aware.

© Autumn and Emilita Siders 2016

A Loving Trip Down the Greeting Card Aisle

For those unconventional relationships this Valentine’s Day…

To the mother of my children… My love for you has grown over the years as much as your vagina.
To the man of my dreams… Thanks for being there when my husband isn’t.
You robbed my heart, my love, my soul. I robbed your bank account. Much love.
Save the flowers and the chocolates, You’re going to need the money for your doctor’s bills. Enjoy the syphilis.
Roses are red, violets are blue Here are some flowers, but I am still dumping you.

Virgin Ears

The only bad thing

about our favorite songs

is that we can never again

hear them for the first time.

We anticipate the key change,

we memorize the melody,

we feel the harmonies,

our hearts supply the beat.

If only we could forget

at the end of each day

and listen again the next

with our virgin ears.

© Autumn Siders 2016

#tbt

The café is empty

and my cup about the same.

I fill the page to make up

for the emptiness for which I’m to blame.

No matter what I write,

the page still seems blank

and the words mean nothing

since when you left, my heart sank.

The words that I choose

may hold no meaning for me

but those who read them

give meaning I cannot see.

© Autumn Siders 2015

Worlds

We all come from different worlds

and still we share but one

and it rarely occurs to any

that we also share the sun.

The more differences that exist

stir the earth to grow

in new and exciting ways

we can break the ground below.

So that sun that we share

can illuminate a brand new scene

and open us up to worlds

within our own, we’ve never seen.

© Autumn Siders 2016

Dream On

There are rumors out there that say one cannot read in a dream. Others say, one cannot die in a dream. Some say if one is falling, one will wake before hitting the floor. One cannot turn on lights. One cannot watch a movie. I am here to debunk these noxious rumors with my own dreams. I swear these are all dreams that I have had over the course of my life.

-I am part of an elite team sent in to figure out what went wrong in a secret base. We enter the main level and the place is empty. We take the elevator up to the second level. All that’s in front of us when we exit the elevator is another elevator. My teammate pushes the call button and we wait with our guns aimed for the elevator to arrive. As soon as the doors open, we are ambushed by a hoard of the undead. We fire as quickly and accurately as we can, but there are too many and the space is too small. My teammates are desperately trying to call the other elevator. They are cornered. I jump from the second floor and land so hard I can feel the pain in my leg. As I struggle to my feet I realize that this floor is now flooded with zombies. I take out the ones closest to me and then I run out of ammo. I fight as many off as I can, but I am very quickly torn to pieces and even after the life has left my body, the dream still continues as I watch from above.

– I am falling. From up high. I hit the ground. It hurts.

-I am in my apartment (I don’t have an apartment) and my friend has just told me that she has a binder full of writing. I am intrigued and would like to know what it is she has written. (Does she get credit for writing them or do I?) I open the binder and start to read some of the poems.

I once dreamed I was a leper

only to find out it was nothing more

than a side effect of Dr. Pepper.

My friend knows the best place in town

to keep a tiger in a cage.

After all, who better than a clown

to deal with all that rage?

Proven not once but twice

that thorns are in my side

I shall prove yet again

that no thorn is left behind.

– I am in the dark. I turn on the light.

– I am with a beautiful girl. We are on a date. We stroll down the city streets on our way to the movie theater. We buy our tickets and find our seats. We watch and chat as the previews start to roll. There is preview for Rocky XX and another for the newest Star Wars franchise that follows the effects of galactic climate change. The lights grow dim and her hand reaches for mine. The movie starts and she leans in on my shoulder. She kisses me. I kiss her back. Things get hot and heavy. Okay, maybe you can’t watch a movie in your dream. At least not if they’re like that.