I try so hard to control
every little detail of life,
a distraction so divine,
that I forget to live.
I want to let go,
I want to be free
but it’s the details
that hold control of me.
I try so hard to forgive
those who cannot live
up to my expectations.
But no matter what,
a part of me always
pities the way
mere mortals live.
Funny how freedom
is more white than red and blue.
Seems odd, doesn’t it?
I always knew I missed you,
I just never knew how much
until you walked away
and I was left without your touch.
I always knew I loved you,
I just never put to words
how much you filled my life
like the singing of the birds.
I always knew I cared,
I just never was able to show
and now it’s much too late
and my heart beats much too slow.
You could ask me today
if I’d come back to you
and the answer is no,
I’d rather not be blue.
You could have asked back then
if I wanted to stay
and my heart would have pulled
thinking it would be okay.
You could ask me tomorrow
where we went wrong
and I’d answer simply,
we never belonged.
There once was a cat from shelter
until some people came to help her.
Now she is home
and free to roam
and spend all day in bed and purr.
Happenstance brought me to you
and fate sent you away,
a fate sealed by my wrongs
making it impossible to stay.
I knew that my actions
would give me this result
and still I carried on
without an ounce of doubt.
Would I change my ways now?
I can honestly say, “no.”
But my heart will remember you,
anywhere I go.
I could promise you the moon
but what good would it do
since all the stars in the sky
can’t shine as bright as you.
I could promise you tomorrow
but it’s better I not
since I don’t make promises
soon to be forgot.
Eventually the student
becomes the teacher
and all you can do it hope
that the power you passed along
will not end up being
the proverbial rope.
The fewer the words
the more profound the message,
so choose them wisely.
I don’t need the movie scenes,
all Hollywood,
plastic and fake.
I don’t need the romantic dreams,
turning to nightmares
all full of snakes.
I don’t need the love song
professing,
possessing,
the pulsing of hearts.
I don’t need a ring
shining,
sparkling,
threatening to tear us apart.
I just want you,
exactly as you are
filled with fault
and showing scars.
Autumn Siders 