Tag: books

La beauté et l’horreur

The beauty of writing is that the author holds the fate of all the characters in the tip of the pen. The horror of writing is that the author has no control over the fate of the work.
               If that day were a story, I suppose I’d write something full of warnings, signs, and omens. I’d wake up, knowing something was off and urge myself to go back to sleep.

It was sunny. Not a cloud in the sky. A beautiful desert winter day. I’d been in the area a few weeks and had ventured into “the big city,” a tiny town called Lordsburg that was a little more than a half hour drive from my home-base.
               In my travels, I found Dimension Coffee, a coffee shop that sold books and had a friendly cat who greeted visitors. It is hard to say whether it was the cat, the books, or the coffee that drew me in, but anyone who knows me would say it was the cat. They would probably be correct.
               There was also a library in town, so like a good little indie author attempting shamelessly to promote my books to any literary venue, I packed the saddlebag with copies of my work and fired up the bike.
               Before I even made it onto the main road, my journey was halted. Perhaps it was one of those signs, omens, or warnings that I should turn around before the day got worse, but who believes in that?
               The delay was a caravan of oversized loads. Not uncommon to the area, the large turbines loaded onto trucks had a way of halting the almost non-existent traffic. Never being in a hurry, the trucks didn’t bother me, but they certainly ruffled the feathers of the true locals.
               I turned off the engine and popped the visor up on my helmet. The drivers of the pilot cars worked efficiently to guide the semis and halt traffic (me). One of the trucks had a dog co-pilot who smiled while standing tall in the seat. When has a smiling dog ever been a bad omen?
               The caravan cleared the way. I popped the visor down, started the engine, kicked it into gear, and set off to see a cat about some books.

The beauty of the desert is that there is usually no one else on the road. The horror of the desert is that there is usually no one else on the road.
               I was more than halfway into my trek when I saw a black speck in the distance. It wasn’t in the road, and it didn’t look like it was moving. There were plenty of cattle in the area, but the speck seemed too small. The desert has a way of playing tricks on one’s perception from a distance.
               As I got closer, I still couldn’t make out what I was seeing. It could always be road trash, but until I knew if it was animal, vegetable, or organic polymer, I decided slowing down was best.
               Finally, I was close enough to see that the black speck was feline in nature. I could see its green eyes watching my approach and I urged the cat to stay put. In true cat nature, it didn’t listen.
               The cat bolted out in front of me, and I swerved to change course. However, the cat quickly had the same thought and turned to head back the way it came. I swerved back and narrowly missed the cat’s tail. Unfortunately, this put me on course to hit the gravelly shoulder.
               Before I even knew what was happening, the front tire sunk into the loose gravel and I was down on the ground with the bike on top of me. I looked up to see the cat becoming a speck in the distance again.

The beauty of having a light motorcycle is that you can lift it off should you end up underneath it. The horror of having a light motorcycle is that is still hurts when it falls on you.
               I quickly shut off the fuel and assessed the situation. Nothing felt broken, but I wouldn’t know for sure until I got the bike off my ankle. I lifted the bike but couldn’t free my foot. My shoe was stuck but luckily, I was able to slide my foot out of the shoe.

               My initial thoughts fell in this order:
               1. I am glad the cat is okay
               2. I hope the books are unscathed
               3. Now my mom will worry about me even more
               4. I suppose it’s good I wear a helmet
               5. Damn cat!

               I knew I had done some damage after getting the bike back upright. A few battle scars on the bike weren’t going to be a problem, but I could feel the road rash on my hand, my elbow, my knee, my ankle.
               Still, I didn’t check my wounds. I opened the saddlebag and examined my books. Just like the cat, they were safe. Surely that should be a good omen.
               Since I was closer to my destination than home, I decided it was best to carry on with the trip. There was a visitor’s center a few miles ahead and I figured they would have a first aid kit on hand.
               They didn’t.
               I threw my leg back over the bike, joints actively swelling with each move, and carried on to Dollar General to build my own first aid kit. I had taken a moment at the visitor’s center to inspect the damage. They didn’t even have paper towels at the center, but my triage guided me through the aisles to gauze, hydrogen peroxide, tape, and cold compresses.
               There, in the Dollar General parking lot, I cleaned and dressed my wounds and was grateful to have escaped with only a minor tear in my pants so that I looked presentable enough to deliver books.
               I swapped my new supplies for the books in the saddlebag, making sure I’d cleaned all the blood off my hands first.
               Did Stephen King ever hobble to a library to donate books?
               Has Margaret Atwood ever had an ice pack stuffed up her sleeve on the way to a bookshop?
               Well, at least we’re all better off than Edgar Allan Poe.

I pushed open the door of the library and threw on my best smile as I approached the counter. I’ve never examined myself in the mirror, so it is entirely possible the smile is more creepy than inviting.
               “Hello,” I said to the librarian. “I am an author and I called before to see if I could donate my books to your collection. The women I spoke with said that would be fine, so here they are.”
               I placed the stack on the counter and pulled out a business card.
               “Feel free to contact me if you are ever in need of an author for an event.”
               “Okay,” said the librarian. Almost as an afterthought she added, “thanks.”
               I waited awkwardly for something more but quickly realized the moment for what it was. I knew the books would never make it on their shelves. Where would they end up? On their “free shelf”? In the trash? Burned? I could only hope that I was wrong, but ever the pessimist, I knew their fate.
               I needed a cat to cheer me up. Good thing the next stop was Dimension Coffee. As I rounded the corner, I saw Teddy’s white and orange frame wandering the sidewalk.
               The bookshop was small and I knew from my previous visit they didn’t have space to take books on consignment, but the owners were gracious and provided delightful conversation, so I brought a copy of one of my books just for them. You did read that I wrote “shamelessly” promote earlier, right?
               I related the day’s events while sipping coffee and petting Teddy. As I did whenever telling the story over the next few weeks, I began with the preface, “the cat is okay.”

The beauty of scars is that they remind you of what you’ve overcome. The horror of scars is that they remind you of what you’ve overcome.
               This wasn’t a life-threatening accident, although with any accident, the slight variation of any factor can make it so.
               The rejection of my books was not a major life event. It’s happened before and will happen again.
               Good conversation, coffee, and cats are all parts of everyday life that may not stick indefinitely in one’s memory but should never be taken for granted.
               That day sticks in my memory though. Not because of those events, but what I saw weeks later traveling that same stretch of road.

The sun was setting behind the mountains and painting the sky a beautiful golden pink hue. I saw a black speck in the road. I knew before I even saw its flattened form what it was.

The beauty of writing is that I could change the ending of this story. The horror of writing is that I will still know the truth. We all live to die another day.

Full Circle

Time to reveal what I’ve been working on over the winter! But first, some background for those who don’t know the story.
I started working at a bookstore when I was 14. Before working in the store, I was a frequent customer and had become good friends with the owner, Karen Baker. Karen founded the bookstore in the summer of 1994, and her very first customer was her mother, Kathryn Mitz Wilson.
Fast forward a couple decades and Karen and I had become not just friends, but family. Karen lost her mother before I ever knew her, so I never had the opportunity to meet Kathryn but I did get to know her through stories shared. Karen told me that her mother had written a book and her dream once she retired from owning a bookstore was to get her mother’s book published.
Unfortunately, Karen passed before retiring and the manuscript that had helped her mother recover from an aneurysm lost its champion. Knowing how important this was to Karen, I decided that with the family’s blessing, I would take on the task of helping this work see the light of day.
Now, it will see the light of day on April 27! While books normally release on Tuesdays, I chose this day for its release because it was Karen’s birthday. So what’s it about?

The planet is dying. Botanist Ad MacMillan knows this, but he doesn’t know why. After a discovery at his family home, the mystery begins to unravel. With the help of a quirky cabbie, a hopeless romantic, and a beautifully brilliant scientist, Ad sets off on a journey that will change all of them, and alter the fate of mankind.
Perhaps it was Kathryn’s love of science fiction or just the way her brain worked, but her vision of humanity and the tragic effects of mankind on nature are what makes this tale so timely.
You can pre-order a copy at your local independent bookstore, through Bookshop.org, or from the bookstore that started it all: The Country Bookseller in Wolfeboro, NH.

My TL;DR Post about Why I Finally Published “Not My Type” in eBook Form (Please Read It, the post and the book :)

When I first made the decision to publish my work, I decided to set some ground rules.

  1. Never have a white cover
  2. Stop if I lose money
  3. Be open to suggestions and edits, but never lose the integrity of the work
  4. Support independent bookstores and libraries

Since day one, it has pained me that my books are available on Amazon (the last time I will mention the name in this post). I do understand the ease of one-click shopping, as well as the premise — more an assumption — that there is a deal to be had, but many folks do not understand just how damaging living solely in a virtual world can be.
However, that is a conversation for another day. For those of us stuck in the past, all this technology can seem like the enemy. But what I have come to realize is that much like my ground rule of maintaining my works’ integrity, I too can edit my mentality while keeping my integrity intact.
I opted not to publish eBook editions of my writing because I wanted people to shop at their local brick and mortar stores. I wanted to reach the reader who stumbles into the stacks only to emerge hours later with a pile of books in hand. Most importantly, I wanted my books to sell because someone loved them, not because some algorithm told them to like it — or hate it.
It is true, I have worked in an indie bookstore for nineteen years. I am biased. Also true, as misanthropic as I my dark soul may be, nothing beats a human connection. After all, no medium of art would exist without it.
So, when I started hearing from readers who were disappointed that my writing was not accessible to them, I got to thinking I should do something about that. Some people just prefer reading electronically, but others need to. My bias led me to ignore some of the benefits that come from technological advances.
Individuals with vision problems, dyslexia, or physical impairments can benefit from the ability to change fonts, lighting, and the fact that a tablet can be lighter and easier to hold. Someone with limited or no transportation can buy or borrow books from the comfort of his, her, or their own home. And the naturalist in me has always struggled with the dilemma of damaging Mother Nature to produce paper. This has weighed on me so heavily that I only buy notebooks from companies like Decomposition and Karst Stone Paper. Dare I say, I have even gone as far into the modern world as purchasing a Supernote tablet. Don’t worry, it sits right next to my typewriter, I haven’t gone too far over the edge.
After much deliberation, carefully considering some newly realized “pros” instead of focusing on the “cons,” and coming to the understanding that in all aspects of life, those who don’t adapt, die, I finally decided to publish an eBook. Not My Type will be available as an eBook through select distributors, such as Kobo, Hoopla, and Overdrive. At the moment, and since I had the option this time, I decided not to make them available through Kindle nor Apple. For those questioning if I have really adapted, here are my reasons.
I still want people to support their communities and not line the pockets of billionaires. Many people do not have a grasp on the behind-the-scenes world of bookselling. So often, we decide to look at the surface and ignore what lies beneath, often to our detriment. The truth is, and this goes for all small businesses, there isn’t much money to be made as the products trickle down the line. Authors sacrifice profit just to have their work in print. Bookselling is a labor of love. And unless you can churn out a book a minute, get discovered by just the right person, or become a viral TikTok star, becoming a household name is just a pipe dream.
I can’t speak for all authors, but I write because I need to and because if any single line I ever construct can make a difference, then I have done my part in making the world less obnoxious. eBooks are not really for me at the moment, but neither is splitting infinitives and that seems to be pretty popular. I know I cannot stop anyone from enjoying the convenience of same-day shipping (if you don’t live in the boonies like me), but hopefully we can all make the effort to support our communities and neighbors, perhaps not in lieu of, but in addition to our digital dealings.

The brave new world may be connected by fiberoptic cables, but life is connected through flesh, blood, breath, and heartstrings.

Bestseller Mash-Up Round 10

Fire and Fury in the Window: When a woman who lives alone and drinks too much peaks out her window at her new president, she sees something she shouldn’t. Or did she just imagine it? Her world starts to crumble quickly as she tries to separate fact from fake news.

The Shape of the Stranger in the Woods: In Maine, a young man takes to the woods and becomes a hermit living off the land and stealing from his neighbors’ cabins. Shunned by society but enjoying his solitude, his life is changed when a young mute girl finds him and a bond is formed. But the Russians are coming…after all, when aren’t they.

Educated Player One: Desperate to escape her survivalist family, a young girl discovers clues in a virtual reality game that take her on a wild ride through higher education. It’s not all fun and games though, and before long she may just be required to put her survivalist skills to use.

The Astrophysics of Not Giving a F*ck: A superstar blogger gives pointers for surviving the cosmos. With no sugarcoating, he points out that not everyone is a star, even the dinosaurs couldn’t survive the big bang, and sometimes you just have to figure out what to keep in your orbit and what to toss in a black hole.

The Great Black Unicorn: After a Vietnam POW returns home, he make an impulsive decision…to become a comedian. He heads to Alaska with the hope of making people laugh but quickly spirals into a deeper depression. Can he inspire others through the power of laughter or is the joke on him?

Bestseller Mash-Up Round 9

It’s Always Into the Water: Three college roommates share love, hate, and secrets as they grow up and go their own ways. When one dies in spot that has been surrounded by mysterious deaths for centuries, everyone wants to write it off as suicide. Did her husband kill her or was she drawn by some unseen force to take a final swim?

Shattered in Moscow: After a heated election in Russia, the losing candidate is sentenced to house arrest at the Metropol. She looks back at all the moments where her campaign went wrong as the world unfolds just outside her doors. She manages to find the wine cellar and although all the labels have been removed, she can still find a bottle to make her drunk.

Dragon Figures: In 1876, two paleontologists fight over bones in the Wild West. In an attempt to best his rival, one hires three black women to do what neither man can do: think. The three women not only help find bones, but they invent new methods in the field without receiving any notoriety for their work.

Mr. Art of Not Giving a F*ck: Part self-help and part autobiography, this book delves into the life of the infamous Mr. Rochester. Sent away by your father? Who cares? Banished to Jamaica? At least it’s warm. Crazy-ass wife? Get a cute mistress… I mean governess. Life sucks? Just don’t give a f*ck!

Lincoln of the Flower Moon: When a tribe of Indians is targeted for their wealth, the FBI gets called in to handle the case. Still in it’s infancy, the agency does a terrible job and soon the Indian Chief’s young son dies. In purgatory, his son’s spirit soon faces the same turmoil erupting topside. The Chief finds a way to visit his son in the afterlife which gives him answers for his worldly problems and where J. Edgar Hoover can get a good deal on pumps.

What I’m Reading Now

It is a rare time in my life when I have only four books that I am reading at the current moment. This could be because I’ve been working hard at making CDs to sell. (Shameless plug here and here.) Or, it could be because I have been hard at work writing my own book(s). Either way, it’s been a while since I have given you a mash-up of any variety so I figured I’d offer up what would happen if all four books were one. Makes for an interesting story.

The Outlanders of Burning Bear and Landing Nightingale

A British Army nurse survives the war to be reunited with her bisexual Russian gymnast lover. The two take to the Scottish countryside for a much needed vacation. After they quarrel about the nurse’s biphobia, the gymnast wanders off discovering an ancient stone circle which sends her into an apocalyptic world with the undead.

Feeling terrible, the nurse sets off to find her lover. She stumbles upon the same stones but gets sent back to 14th century Russia and a village on the edge of wilderness. Wishing she had her lover there to translate, she pieces together that the village is having a string of bad luck and winter will soon be upon them. The priest who has just arrived encourages the village to give up their old ways and embrace his. One girl defies him though and the nurse realizes she too is shunned for being an outsider. With the nurse’s help, the girl embraces power from deep within to save her village and possibly send the nurse home.

Meanwhile, our Russian gymnast finds herself in a world that has been run by the dead for too long. Even more dangerous is the fact that some of the dead, have decided they want to live again. She meets an interesting couple, one living and one split between life and death, who have decided to take on a powerful force looking to usurp what’s left of civilization. The group sets off in the hope to discover who is in charge of this evil entity and if they have the capability to send the gymnast home.

Will both women conquer evil centuries apart? Will these two star-crossed lovers ever find their way back into each others arms? Only time will tell.

 

If any of this sounded interesting to you, check out these books:

Outlander by Diana Gabaldon

The Burning World by Isaac Marion

The Bear and the Nightingale by Katherine Arden

Stuck Landing by Lauren Gallagher

Devour

I devour the words

as they pass by my eyes

my hunger never appeased,

my hunger never dies.

With one book down

and so many to go

I am starving for knowledge

of what I don’t already know.

Feast and never famine

is the way it should be

with a book always in hand

the soul can forever be free.

© Autumn Siders 2016