Tag: Cats

Hard-Knock Life

I never asked to be a cat

it just happened this way;

perhaps it was just by chance

or I was chosen as they say

–

Either way this fact holds true,

full time cat-hood is no easy chore;

this life ain’t for slackers

or those who easily bore.

–

There is no way to explain

just how difficult it may be

so let me close my eyes

and take a nap so that you can see.

© Autumn And Emilita Siders 2016

Cat Bard

My girl has rambled on about Shakespeare for long enough. I don’t really see what is so great about the guy, he didn’t even write about cats. Here is how some of his works should have read.

To wake, or not to wake- that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to dream
Of mice and fish of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of tunas,
And by clawing end them.

Out, damned mouse! out, I say!

Birds, squirrels, chipmunks, lend me your ears;

I come to watch you, not to eat you.

Kitty Klassifieds

Human for Sale

Pure-bred human, potty-trained. This 26-year-old female will bring joy to your life. Knows the commands, feed me, out, clean that up, and pick that up.

Help Wanted

Seeking a responsible individual to clean up litter box twice daily. Tasks include scooping poop, pee, and occasional removal of errant waste. Must have the ability to bend over and lift 3 oz.

For Sale

Never been used cat bed. Was purchased for me by silly humans who thought I would like it better than the box in which it was delivered. Would be a nice addition to any house with a dog.

Personals

Single black and white long-haired beauty seeks no one. Leave me alone.

Roommate Wanted

Immediate vacancy for a rodent to fill the space in the wall. Previous tenant disappeared without a trace.

dRats

You were but inches away

and somehow still ran

this is not my fault,

you know I had a plan.

You would have been mine.

It was only a matter of time,

but you must be in cahoots

with those people, what a crime!

Just as I was about to pounce

and catch myself a mouse

there came the sound of a bag

that filled the whole house

and so I left you behind

just inches from my feet.

Why eat a mouse,

when you can eat a treat?

© Autumn and emilita Siders 2016

Easter Basket

I hear the people talking,

as if they think I don’t hear,

about a friendly visit

that happens once a year.

They say there will be baskets

filled with chocolate and cheer.

brought to us with care

from a pair of floppy ears.

Well I am sure not one for chocolate

and no cat exhibits cheer,

so take the contents back

but leave the basket here.

© Autumn and Emilita Siders 2016

To My Bird

I taught you the ways of the world

like how to make a human

cater to your every whim.

I taught you to make noise

when you want their attention

really do anything, go out on limb.

I taught you to make messes,

or maybe it was you who shared

the best way to leave the crumbs.

I taught you to cover your ears

whenever there is any noise

including those damn drums.

I taught you all of this and still

it seems as though your lessons

in love were somehow greater.

You helped me become a family cat

but I would still try to eat you

but not because I am a traitor.

So, let it be known, that no other

can ever abuse or attempt harm

to you, my bird and my brother.

So much as a cat can proclaim,

my love to you, I do unless anyone asks

then I don’t even know your name.

© Autumn and Emilita Siders 2016

The Grass is Greener

No greener grass could grow

than that of my own creation.

Go on, Winter, bring your snow

my grass will grow with elation.

I used to look out the window

and get this kind of sensation

that the grass was greener below

and I would have a temptation.

But now, I most certainly know

it’s not love and dedication

or that I’m reaping what I sow,

it seems to be about hydration

trust me, I’m a cat, I know.

© Autumn and Emilita Siders 2016