Tag: Cats

Irreplaceable

You know that times are tough when you are replaced by a machine. My people are apparently not happy with my work because they have brought in mouse traps. Do you know what this does to a cat? I sit up all night waiting to catch mice. I inform them when I hear one. All my time and effort goes into my job and they have the balls to replace me! I am a cat though, so I will walk away proud with my tail in the air, but let me give you a piece of my mind.

Does a mouse trap bring the mouse and lay it at your feet?

Does a mouse trap act like it is happy to see you when you come home?

Does a mouse trap scratch you and pretend like it was an accident?

Does a mouse trap vomit in your bed?

Does a mouse trap decorate your home and wardrobe in cat hair?

Does a mouse trap keep your seat warm for you when you get up and when you get back?

You think a mouse trap is so great, sleep with it instead of me!

Acrocat

One paw in front of the other,

with my tail held high in the air.

I am the greatest act you’ve seen,

I attempt feats one would not dare.

As you sit on the edge of your seat

my act has freely won your stare.

With every success comes the applause

but you forget, I’m a cat, I don’t care.

© Autumn and Emilita Siders 2015

My Welcomed Distraction

I try to do my work

but there you are in my chair.

I surrender to your wills

and welcome your deposit of hair.

I try to clean the room

and here you are to help

but then the vacuum comes

and you are gone with a yelp.

I try to watch the film

and welcome you with open arms

only to find out you think

your butt holds more charm.

I try to go to sleep

and shut my eyes for the day

only to find out now

you’ve decided to play.

©Autumn Siders 2015

A Night at the Meovies

Much like a human’s inability to hear the proper lyrics to songs, they also seem to lack the ability to get some of the most infamous movie lines right. Here they are for your reference.

Life is like a box of catnip. You never know if you are going to jump off the walls or sleep for five days.

You know how to whistle, don’t you? Well you’re a cat so I guess you can’t.

I love the smell of tuna fish in the morning.

You’ve got to ask yourself one question: “Do I have poop stuck on my butt?” Well, do ya, punk?

There’s no crying in mouse hunting!