“Your box is clean!”
You scream with glee
as if somehow
this matters to me.
I don’t need to know
when you complete a task.
If I wanted an update,
I’d simply ask.
All celebrations aside
you really shouldn’t be
so excited and chipper
that you just cleaned pee.
I think I am going to be sick
and I don’t know why
since I had so little to eat
and no, that’s not a lie.
I had my breakfast,
my lunch,
my dinner,
and then the sun did rise,
so I had another course
and a little dessert surprise.
Then I had a bath
and ate a clump of fur
then another meal,
just a few bites, I’m sure.
Then there was the nap
which left my tummy grumbling
so I made my way from bed to bowl
the whole way, stumbling.
Another bath there was,
so some more fur indeed
and then you came home
to bring me what I need.
A fish hits the spot,
each and every time,
but maybe all that fur
should be a digestive crime.
My girl is gone
one more time
and the house is quiet
and quite divine.
There is no one to wake me
with foolish thoughts
or follow me around
like connect-the-dots.
While I love my girl,
or so she claims,
it’s nice to get away
from such loud dames.
The reason she gives
is a wedding or two
so I’m grateful to love
for making dreams come true.
The shock on my face
when 4am rolled around
and you were here,
full of fury and sound.
How exciting it is
to see my girl here,
since you know how much
I love when you’re near.
But really the truth
is that when you come home
it means I get a fish
then you can leave me alone.
You’ve been gone
for at least thirty naps,
but I hardly noticed
between all these baths.
I know soon you’ll be home
and you’ll bring me a fish
and then it’s back to bed
where I’ll make a wish.
I wish that you’ll come home,
but first you’ll have to go,
in order to bring me another
fish that I love so.
Your hands better be clean
if you’re going to pet the queen.
Do you know how long it took
to achieve this perfect look?
An hour on each paw
is standard feline law
and no one quite knows
how much time is spent on toes.
This shiny coat you see
is natural beauty
but a little spit and shine
is a work that is all mine.
There once was a cat from shelter
until some people came to help her.
Now she is home
and free to roam
and spend all day in bed and purr.
I want to ask you a favor,
which is strange thing to do
since cats don’t ask for much
they just make demands of you.
The thing is, this time,
I need a little hand
and while I’d ask you nicely,
I actually will demand.
If you could do what I want
and then be on your way
since you’ll be my next vicitm
if you choose to stay.
Sometimes,
I don’t know what to do with myself.
So,
I take the initiative to
eat your hat,
pull my fur,
scratch the rug,
burrow under
all your blankets,
pace the floor,
meow outside the door,
beg for food,
stare you down,
and finally,
nap.
I don’t understand
why you won’t let me in.
There are battles to fight
and wars to win.
If I could only enter,
I would make you see
that nothing can stand
between that mouse and me.
You think you may know
about who I am
but really I’m not
some cute little lamb.
Ferocious and wild,
I’ll attack if I must
’cause I always get my mouse,
in that you can trust.
Autumn Siders 