There are rumors out there that say one cannot read in a dream. Others say, one cannot die in a dream. Some say if one is falling, one will wake before hitting the floor. One cannot turn on lights. One cannot watch a movie. I am here to debunk these noxious rumors with my own dreams. I swear these are all dreams that I have had over the course of my life.

-I am part of an elite team sent in to figure out what went wrong in a secret base. We enter the main level and the place is empty. We take the elevator up to the second level. All that’s in front of us when we exit the elevator is another elevator. My teammate pushes the call button and we wait with our guns aimed for the elevator to arrive. As soon as the doors open, we are ambushed by a hoard of the undead. We fire as quickly and accurately as we can, but there are too many and the space is too small. My teammates are desperately trying to call the other elevator. They are cornered. I jump from the second floor and land so hard I can feel the pain in my leg. As I struggle to my feet I realize that this floor is now flooded with zombies. I take out the ones closest to me and then I run out of ammo. I fight as many off as I can, but I am very quickly torn to pieces and even after the life has left my body, the dream still continues as I watch from above.

– I am falling. From up high. I hit the ground. It hurts.

-I am in my apartment (I don’t have an apartment) and my friend has just told me that she has a binder full of writing. I am intrigued and would like to know what it is she has written. (Does she get credit for writing them or do I?) I open the binder and start to read some of the poems.

I once dreamed I was a leper

only to find out it was nothing more

than a side effect of Dr. Pepper.

My friend knows the best place in town

to keep a tiger in a cage.

After all, who better than a clown

to deal with all that rage?

Proven not once but twice

that thorns are in my side

I shall prove yet again

that no thorn is left behind.

– I am in the dark. I turn on the light.

– I am with a beautiful girl. We are on a date. We stroll down the city streets on our way to the movie theater. We buy our tickets and find our seats. We watch and chat as the previews start to roll. There is preview for Rocky XX and another for the newest Star Wars franchise that follows the effects of galactic climate change. The lights grow dim and her hand reaches for mine. The movie starts and she leans in on my shoulder. She kisses me. I kiss her back. Things get hot and heavy. Okay, maybe you can’t watch a movie in your dream. At least not if they’re like that.