Tag: Emilita

Homeschooling

Betsy DeVos has become the 11th United States Secretary of Education. A lot of my friends happen to be teachers and while I am worried about what this could mean for them, I am more worried about what it could mean for children, especially my own.em2

A teacher’s job is hard enough without having to worry about the bureaucracy bullshit that gets thrown at them. In recent years it has been bad enough and it seems like things might get even worse before getting better. So, I have made an important decision that in no way is an insult to those teachers out there who give it their all. I will be homeschooling Emilita.

We started our rigorous curriculum just yesterday and she aced her first test. I can already see that the benefits of some extra time spent with my baby girl will help her go far in life. Check out her results below and see for yourself.

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Where You Sleep

I won’t deny, I don’t need you,

but every now and then it would be great

to have your absolute attention

as I show off my adorable traits.

I know I’m not the only soul

who has a place in your exciting life,

but I’m definitely the most important

since I can cut you like a knife.

So sure, pay him more attention

and I swear you’ll not hear a peep.

But remember, while you’re forgetting me,

I know exactly where you sleep.

© Autumn and Emilita Siders 2017

Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow

I’ve been a cat for a while now

and I’ve learned a thing or two

about how a simple meow

can get a human to do

remarkable feats and tasks,

some unbelievable, but true.

Once, I meowed all night long,

until I made my human shout,

but still I carried on my speech

and proved without a doubt,

humans need not a night of sleep

to fill my bowl with trout.

© Autumn and Emilita Siders 2017

Your Song

She claims she wrote a song for me

as if I am supposed to care.

What a racket that she makes

as she follows me everywhere.

While every cat appreciates

to be treated like a queen,

this treatment lacks for sure

and really is quite obscene.

Get thee back to the drawing board

and find a better way;

if you need a hint or two,

I like fish and warm spots to lay.

© Autumn and Emilita Siders 2017

This Year…

This year I will not scratch,

this year I will not bite,

this year I will not meow

and keep my girl up all night.

This year I will be good

and lose that pesky pound

I will not beg for fish

and I will run all around.

This year…

who am I kitten?

I will still scratch

and I will still bite

but I promise only

when you deserve the fight.

And that pesky pound

can stay or go,

but the fish shall stay,

 this I know.

© Autumn and Emilita Siders 2016

Santa Claws

The guy in red

needs to bring a treat

if he hopes for peace

if ever we should meet.

No man will come to my house

whether he bears gifts or not

and sneak down my chimney

like a common thief to be shot.

So the only thing to stop you,

from meeting my claws,

would be to bring a fish,

choose well, Santa Claus.

© Autumn and Emilita Siders 2016

Snow Day

Blue jays flitter and flutter

just outside my reach

but the snow is falling fast

and there is no way to breach

this glass that stands between

my frozen dinner and me.

So, my warm bed beckons

and that’s exactly where I’ll go

until those birds dry off

and get out of the frigid snow.

My blanket will be pulled high,

warmth is the key.

© Autumn and Emilita Siders 2016

Meow That’s What I Call Music: Volume 4

I’m only one scratch away

I’ll be there to make you pay

Lucifer got nothin’ on me

I’m only one scratch away.

–

You can’t feel your face when you’re with me

but you love it, but you love it,

You can’t feel your face when you’re with me

but you love it, but you love it.

–

I love eating feathers

in a beautiful world

and I know I am special

I’m so fuckin’ special

’cause I’m a cat, I’m a feline

what the hell are you doing here?

you don’t belong here.

–

Santa baby, slip a fishy under the tree, for me

I’ve been a good awful girl, Santa baby,

so hurry down the chimney tonight.