There was a spot in the sun
in which I used to sit,
but as the weather changes
I find that I do not fit.
I never used to worry at all
about my size and weight
but as my fur grows thicker,
those words, I really hate.
“Wow,” they say in awe,
“look at that big cat!”
So I say, “shut up, you dumbass!
This is all fluff and not fat!”
I used to live in a place
where you had to be tough.
If you wanted to live,
you might have to get rough.
Who knew that one day
I was destined to meet
two humans who love me
especially when I bite their feet?
Until I went home with them,
I never really knew
how to love or be loved
but now I think I do.
They tell me all the time
that I am a family cat
and that my bird is for loving,
but I can always eat the rats.
So family it would seem
means exactly what I thought,
find two suckers who love you
and love them back a lot.
(Do I get a fish now?)
Cat naps in the sun
as rays of warmth sail away;
a catastrophe.
I hear the words, “five more minutes,”
and I know that I have ten
since each time they say that
I know they’ve lied again.
So I put on my sad face
and sulk away to bed
pretending to believe them
while the plot forms in my head.
Well, on my way to slumber
I’ll claim that I got lost
and rip that carpet up
no matter what the cost.
Counting down the minutes
I hear the doorknob click
and think, they didn’t lie!
or perhaps this is a trick.
So I stop my deviant behavior
and bring back those sad, sad eyes
knowing that a treat will come
because I’ve got my good girl disguise.
So it’s hot you say
but do I really care?
All this noise you make
does not seem very fair.
I am perfectly content
sweltering under all this fur
so don’t turn that fan on me,
turn it back to her.
I can grow a pumpkin
in my very own backyard
or I can take a nap
the decision here is hard.
I think perhaps I will
do both these things today
since after all I am a cat
and I always get my way.
You close the door
and say absolutely not
yet I don’t understand
it can’t be that hot.
I wait so patiently
like the good kitten I am
and I let out a meow;
you still don’t give a damn.
What torture this is
that I must endure?
Just let me out,
I’ll be fine, I’m sure.
Well if the answer is no
then I will just go to bed
since I cannot even fathom
the crazy thoughts in your head.
–
A quick five-hour nap
and I hear the door creak
time to get out
and sneak a quick peak.
I run with the speed
of a prized derby horse
rounding the corner
taking the quickest course.
I run through the door
and something is not well
certainly this had to be
the doorway to hell.
The heat hits me
just like a brick
and I drop to the ground,
I think I’m going to be sick.
–
So there may be a chance
that you had it all right,
no way am I staying out here,
goodbye and goodnight.
I am not one to get my paws dirty
but I know it needs to be done
if the grass is ever to grow,
it’s going to need some sun.
The little sprouts peek through
as they stand tall one by one
I will eat them now,
who says they have to be done?
I see movement in the corner
and know the prey is mine.
Slinking along in the shadows
I silently bide my time.
The fluttering comes to a stop
and I know that time is now
so I jump with all my might
landing softly, yet with a pow!
In an instant I feel the pain
but a true warrior never can quit
a little sting never hurt anyone,
who am I kidding, it hurts like shit.
I’ve often dreamed of escape
but I know that staying here
is a better choice for sure;
the treat in your hand makes it clear.
Autumn Siders 