Tag: Emilita

Irreplaceable

You know that times are tough when you are replaced by a machine. My people are apparently not happy with my work because they have brought in mouse traps. Do you know what this does to a cat? I sit up all night waiting to catch mice. I inform them when I hear one. All my time and effort goes into my job and they have the balls to replace me! I am a cat though, so I will walk away proud with my tail in the air, but let me give you a piece of my mind.

Does a mouse trap bring the mouse and lay it at your feet?

Does a mouse trap act like it is happy to see you when you come home?

Does a mouse trap scratch you and pretend like it was an accident?

Does a mouse trap vomit in your bed?

Does a mouse trap decorate your home and wardrobe in cat hair?

Does a mouse trap keep your seat warm for you when you get up and when you get back?

You think a mouse trap is so great, sleep with it instead of me!

Acrocat

One paw in front of the other,

with my tail held high in the air.

I am the greatest act you’ve seen,

I attempt feats one would not dare.

As you sit on the edge of your seat

my act has freely won your stare.

With every success comes the applause

but you forget, I’m a cat, I don’t care.

© Autumn and Emilita Siders 2015

A Night at the Meovies

Much like a human’s inability to hear the proper lyrics to songs, they also seem to lack the ability to get some of the most infamous movie lines right. Here they are for your reference.

Life is like a box of catnip. You never know if you are going to jump off the walls or sleep for five days.

You know how to whistle, don’t you? Well you’re a cat so I guess you can’t.

I love the smell of tuna fish in the morning.

You’ve got to ask yourself one question: “Do I have poop stuck on my butt?” Well, do ya, punk?

There’s no crying in mouse hunting!

Black Cat

Why is it that

people think I am unlucky?

The superstitions

are getting a little old.

Black cats are beautiful

black cats are bold.

Setting the record straight,

we aren’t responsible

for these misfortunes

that you hold.

You are your own

cause of bad luck

so leave us alone.

© Autumn and Emilita Siders 2015

Meow That’s What I Call Music

The real lyrics to the songs you all know and love…

Hey, I just ate you,

And it was tasty

Now it’s nap time

Don’t call me a baby.

Cause I’m hot then I’m cold

I’m yes then I’m no

I’m in then I’m out

I’m up then I’m down

Never wrong, always, right

I’m black and I’m white

I sleep, I dream up

Eat grass, I throw up.

Let it go, let it go

Can’t hold my prey anymore

Let it go, let it go

then chase it through the door

I don’t care

what a mess I’ll make

Let the rat run on

I always catch ’em anyway.