Bestseller Mash-Up Round 4

My Sister’s Divine Comedy: After a couple has a child that needs a bone marrow donor, they decide to have another child in order to keep their first child alive while Virgil prepares to lead the couple to their very own level of Hell.

Devil in the Grey City: During the 1863 World’s Fair in Chicago, authorities believe they have a killer on the loose when they discover several dead bodies in a house until they realize all the victims are former lovers of Christian Grey.

A Discovery of Waldo: When a witch who has turned her back on magic accidentally discovers a long-lost manuscript that holds to the answers everyone seeks, she and a sexy vampire begin their journey to find the elusive Waldo.

The Girl with a Heart-Shaped Tattoo: A journalist sets off to investigate the disappearance of a young girl from a wealthy family and gets the help of a young hacker who just got a tattoo in the shape of a heart that comes with a ghost attached. Will they find the girl before the ghost finds them?

Go Set an Outlander: When a young woman returns to her small southern town to visit her ailing father, she accidently sends herself back in time to Scotland in 1743. Being from the south, she fits right in with the warring clans, deceit, and bloodshed.

Marriage Mash-Up

In honor of the upcoming nuptials (tomorrow!!!!) of my two good friends, I figured what better way to celebrate marriage than give a few examples of couples that may not work, but would be quite funny if they were married. That’s kind of how I feel about my friends…;)

Donald Trump and Selena Quintanilla: Together these two would have been a business powerhouse. Selena surely has some great ideas of her own, like mixing friendship and business and Trump has such a great working relationship with Latinos now. This is a marriage bound to succeed! The best thing is Selena might still be alive because Trump would most likely have deported her friend before she ever had the chance to rip her off and kill her.

Rush Limbaugh and Rachel Maddow: Two great people who bring us the news every day. They say opposites attract and with this couple we might actually get both sides of the story. But let’s face it, we all know who has the morals in this relationship 4 marriages are better than 1, right?

Edgar Allan Poe and Charlie Sheen: This is a marriage that would last based on the sole love of alcohol. Everyone needs a drinking buddy and who better than your soul mate? The best thing about these two is where they differ. While they both keep late hours, one thinks he hears a raven and the other thinks he is a raven.

Jerry Bruckheimer and Carrie Underwood: He was just a city boy, born and raised in north Detroit and she just a small town girl, livin’ in a lonely world who took the midnight train right to American Idol. Hey, if these two could fall in love, then we can’t stop believin’.

 

 

Blockbuster Mash-Up Round 2

Some Like it Hot Fuzz: When a couple of male musicians join an all female police department in the countryside to escape the Chicago mob, all hell breaks loose when they do a better job than the other constables and uncover a secret society that protects their town at all costs.

The Rocky Horror Pitch Perfect Show: When an all female a cappella group from college gets stranded in a storm, they go to a creepy mansion to use the phone and find it inhabited by sweet transvestites from Transylvania. It turns out to be a lot like college.

Pretty Pocus: A hooker hides out with a millionaire who needs a date in order to escape the wrath of ancient witches brought back after she lit a candle. After a week she realizes that not kissing on the mouth does not make her a virgin and therefore the witches were never brought back.

Grosse Pointe Break: When an assassin returns home for his high school reunion and a job, he rekindles the romance he shared with his high school sweetheart and infiltrates a group of surfers who are robbing banks. All goes well until he stabs one of the surfers in the eye with a pen.

Six Days Seven Nights of the Living Dead: When a drunk pilot taking a woman back to the mainland crashes his plane on an island, the two must survive the wilderness, zombies, and each other. After being fed up with the woman’s incessant complaints, the pilot leaves her for the zombies and finds his own way off the island.

Broadway Mash-Up

Wicked Misérables: After being imprisoned for being green, a young woman is released into Revolutionary Oz and starts a new life for herself by protecting her crippled sister. All goes well until her sister tries to defy gravity and gets trapped under a barricade by angry men.

Phantom of Avenue Q: A coming of age story about a young man living backstage at the opera house who gets swept up in a love triangle and through the use of puppets he realizes there is a fine fine line between a lover and a stalker as he goes past the point of no return.

The Chicago King: Set in the Savannah during prohibition era, a young lion cub learns the circle of life and all that jazz as he realizes how corrupt society and his pride really are.

Fiddler on the Mamma!: A young girl in Anatevka must find out who her father is before her arranged marriage due to the fact that her mother was known not only as the town dancing queen, but also the town slut. Hey every town needs one, it’s tradition!

La Cage aux Hairspray: A drag queen and his partner audition to be on the coolest dancing show on t.v. and become instant hits with their slogan, “We are Who We Are.” Meanwhile, the mother of their competition, a highly conservative bigot tries to squash all hopes of them winning by giving all of Baltimore crabs.

Bestseller Mash-Up Round 3

Carrie Eyre: A young governess falls for the father of the children she teaches but is in for a rude awakening when his crazy wife drops pigs blood on her at prom which causes her to go crazy as well.

Harry Quixote: A young boy discovers he may have magical abilities and sets off to a school for wizards. On the way he battles windmills and falls for bar wenches that he sees as royalty. Or maybe that doesn’t happen, who knows?

Are You There, God? It’s Me, Dracula: A young girl vampire faces the usual struggles of growing up by dealing with friends, family, avoiding sunlight, eternal life, and that pesky problem of getting your period when you are a vampire.

Lolita’s Web: In order to protect her pedophilic stepfather, a young girl leaves messages as they travel around the country. The messages include, “Terrific,” “Humble,” “Radiant,” and “Some Pig.” The last of the words being the most truthful.

Tuck & Juliet: Two star-crossed lovers do their best to stay together when their warring families pull them apart. Being immortal, the boy thinks it best to fake their deaths, but doesn’t account for the fact that his love will actually die while he lives.

Show Smash-Up

American Dynasty: A group of contestants competes each week to see who has the best duck call while a panel of judges gives feedback that doesn’t even matter since America gets to vote for the winner.

Everybody Loves the Walking Dead: After an apocalypse that causes the dead to rise, an Italian man must protect his wife, kids, brother, and parents while his pestering mother interferes in every aspect of his life.

Game of Cheers: On the continent of Westeros, at a bar where everyone knows your name, a bartender helps his patrons with difficult life decisions such as relationships, war, and whether or not to sleep with your sister.

Breaking the Bell: In order to secure his family finances after being diagnosed with cancer, a high school principal takes to becoming a drug dealer while dealing with a troublesome teen who is always up to some scheme.

Chasing Dexter: A young quick witted journalist finds out she has cancer and decides to do something valuable with her time left and become a vigilante killer.

Blockbuster Mash-Up

Speed Trap: An estranged pair of twins must save a speeding bus from blowing up all while making the passengers of the bus (their parents included) think there is only one of them.

Frozen Rain: When Hollywood makes the transition from silent films to “talkies,” the executives quickly decide to have another woman do the voice over for their leading lady due to her ear-piercing voice and her odd ability to turn everything to ice. Eventually they let her go.

Dirty Park: While on vacation at a dinosaur theme park with her affluent family, a young woman falls for her dance instructor and they must face challenges of abortion, poisonous plants, and escaped dinosaurs. They learn the hard way that nobody should put baby velociraptors in the corner.

I am Mrs. Doubtfire: After a plague kills most of humanity, a comedian father must dress as a woman to continue seeing his children. He begins to think that he just enjoys dressing as a woman though since his entire family is dead and his only companion is a dog.

Sixth Sense in Seattle: A young boy who has the ability to see dead people tries to set up his widowed father by calling in to a radio station. Not being able to tell the dead suitors from the live suitors, he accidentally sets his father up with his late mother which ultimately drives his father mad until he jumps off the Empire State building.

Bestseller Mash-Up Round 2

11/22/84: An English teacher from Maine must go back in time to prevent the assassination of Big Brother…who may or may not really exist.

Gone with the Hatchet: A young boy is stranded in the Confederate South during the Civil War with nothing but a hatchet given to him by his mother. He must learn how to survive with the daughter of a spoiled plantation owner and her drunkard husband who quite frankly don’t give a damn about him.

I Know Why the Lord of the Rings Sings: After inheriting a ring from his cousin, a young hobbit starts on a journey that leads him through prejudice, pain, and teen pregnancy, but that ultimately makes him the proud hobbit he is today.

The Great Time to Kill: When a young man goes on trial for the murder of his high society Long Island neighbor in 1922, the jury quickly finds him not guilty due to temporary insanity. Then again who wasn’t insane on Long Island in the 20’s?

The Road to My Side of the Mountain: After a devastating disaster has decimated most of humanity, a young boy runs away from civilization and fends for himself in the Catskill Mountains with only a falcon as a companion until they are eaten by cannibals.