The light from your phone
paints a blue glow across your face
as I struggle to connect
in this time and place.
–
I recount the day’s events
and how I really feel
waiting not for just a response,
but a response that is real.
–
The glow dims and your fingers stop
and I stare into your blank face,
“huh?” is all you can manage
as my words vanish without a trace.
A thump below the floorboards
is your tell-tale heart,
reminding me constantly
of why we fell apart.
The lack of my heart
upon my ripped sleeve
is what ripped out your heart
and most certainly made you leave.
I pride myself on being strong
and needing no one else
and now I realize just how wrong
my hubristic faults can be
knowing it never takes long
with one simple look from you
weakness encompasses me.
Whiskers are twitching
as you sweetly dream of mice;
The mice disagree.
Recently, my mom and I both happened to watch Jurassic World. We didn’t watch it together, but I warned her if she watched it that she might cry since she would probably feel as sad about the raptors as I did. She did in fact agree that the treatment of the dinosaurs was very depressing. When I conveyed this to a friend, she called me weird. So here is a list of other famous moments I find sad. You be the judge if my feelings are warranted.
-When House stops taking vicodin, dates Cuddy, and becomes “nicer.” Truly the death of a great man here.
-The end of Where the Red Fern Grows. I can’t even write about it in detail, so if you don’t know it, look it up…if you dare.
-When the crush of the serial killer in Normal dies. Even serial killers deserve happiness.
-When the cat, Sassy, falls in the river in Homeward Bound/Incredible Journey. As a child, and even today, it was/is hard to watch/read that scene.
-In addition to the situation of the raptors in the new Jurassic movie, I thought it was just awful in the original when those two bratty kids made them run into freezers and doors. Poor girls were just hungry and who are those kids to deny them a meal.
You were but inches away
and somehow still ran
this is not my fault,
you know I had a plan.
You would have been mine.
It was only a matter of time,
but you must be in cahoots
with those people, what a crime!
Just as I was about to pounce
and catch myself a mouse
there came the sound of a bag
that filled the whole house
and so I left you behind
just inches from my feet.
Why eat a mouse,
when you can eat a treat?
The clock started ticking
as the countdown had begun
and I sat staring blankly
at what little work was done.
The solitude a writer needs
is often hard to find
and even harder still
when nursing a broken mind.
A story is on its way, I promise…
In what little space remains
I squeeze the words necessary
to convey all that explains
but does not excuse my actions.
–
In what little time remains
I hope that your forgiveness
can find a way, not to agree,
but to accept what cannot be changed.
–
With what little hope remains
I hope that somehow you know
no matter what happens then or now,
a lot of love still remains.
Possibilities
grow exponentially with
every book consumed.
Rainbows and butterflies
have never been my thing
and the darker the humor
the more laughter will ring.
I kid, or maybe not,
that my soul burns black
and with a knife never far
I am ready for attack.
None of this means
that I am sad or upset
it’s just who I am,
and I have no regret.
Autumn Siders 